Recently, the Class X and XII Board results been out, the social media ‘statuses’ are filled with ‘proud’ parents declaring ‘successes’ of their children. My son, also having fared well waited till evening – and then, anxiously said – ‘Papa, you want to say anything?’ I said, ‘No, why ?’ He said ‘At least you could say that since you have got 98 in History, some amount of effort must have gotten into it ?’ I said – ‘Well if you enjoyed learning History, that itself is enough’.
What is the big problem with marks ? And what is a ‘topper mentality’ ? ‘Topper mentality’ can be said to be a set of characteristic traits more likely to be found amongst those who a) seek marks and b) have always ‘topped’ in examinations. These traits develop due to a system of over-emphasis on marks in examinations. The problem of ‘marks’ and development of a ‘topper mentality’ are intricately related. Here are some of those problems and traits.
Firstly, the fascination ( actually fear! ) of marks takes away the joy of learning, nay the learning itself. Have we not witnessed black-outs after we have regurgitated whatever we mugged up for exams ? On the other hand, perhaps without the fear of exams and marks, a concept discussed well with friends/ teacher remains longerin mind. In other words, it is ‘understood’. So, understanding, which is personal, comes to a free mind – not a mind anxious about scoring good marks in exams. To the latter – knowledge may come – but knowledge is not understanding. I recall once in college, for recapitulation ( and perhaps a subconscious desire to impress ?), I revised the notes of Anatomy ( what we had studied three years ago ) and narrated the same in the Orthopaedic class. My class fellow was ( initially ) impressed – how could i remember those minute muscle names after three years ! I said i did not remember – but just re-read those a day before. He said what was the point then ! The point here, however, is that knowledge and information may not stay for long – which is fine; but more importantly, knowledge and information gained only for ‘marks’ i.e. to ‘top’ do not stay for long – for sure ! A topper therefore is likely to be a poor learner.
The reason behind this is that learning and understanding happen when one is paying full attention i.e. one is fully in the present. Such 100% attention is the cause for all brilliance. With the exams looming around – it becomes difficult to remain in the ‘present’ or to give 100% attention – attention, just for the sake of it. The focus shifts to achievement of results – one then begins to spend energy on which chapter or which question is likely to come in exams – rather than picking up any paragraph or problem and enjoying/ addressing it with full vigour. This approach steals away the joy of life and may push a topper into being always anxious about future exams and how to ‘crack them’.
The focus only on exams may also steal from a topper a realisation that life and learning are beyond the limited theoretical knowledge of books. A topper may begin to feel that his reason for existence is to score good marks ( more than others) and make his/her parents proud ! For this he (‘he’ is used in a gender neutral sense hereafter for a topper) may begin to seek liberty to ignore other responsibilities which are part of growing up and which afford more learning, perhaps . These may include ‘mundane’ tasks such as helping in household chores, meeting up friends and relatives, supporting the family in difficult times, enjoying with them on holidays, learning from parents through observation on how they are negotiating and dealing with the world around, and acquiring the basic social, emotional and other life skills. Deprived of these, focussing only on the ‘report card’, a topper may in effect grow up as an irresponsible adult.
There is another way to examine how this irresponsibility creeps in. The syllabus typically comprises basic lessons (core), and some extra/new stuff (peripheral). It is more important to understand and learn the basics. The extra/new can follow. A topper however, knows that ‘marks’ lie in the periphery. He has ‘learnt’ that in order to have an ‘edge’ over others – in order to ‘top’ – he will have to deliver that ‘extra’ stuff. So he focusses on the ‘periphery’, highlights the ‘periphery’ and may many a times successfully fool the examiner that since he knows the ‘extra’ stuff he would very well know the ‘basics’. This may not be true always, and herein lies the seed of a ‘topper’ developing into an ‘irresponsible’ adult. Of life, and of all things about life, perhaps, there may be a similar core and periphery. The core is the basic truths, the basic facts that have been proven and accepted as universally true. The mistakes in the periphery are pardonable – those about the basics – not.
Perhaps, this is how, the psychology of a topper may be playing, to his jeopardy. Since on the external side, he is winning all wars ( becoming successful, in the manner ‘success’ is defined and understood), the ego begins to inflate subtly. He begins to believe that he has learnt how to crack the code and therefore, now he can be in position of calling the shots. The shots he begins to call however may falter on ethics, or on the parameters of emotional and social intelligence. These are skills he failed to acquire since there were no books/ exams for these ! So in effect, he begins to become impressed with himself. The external world is clapping – since he is on the top – and he considers that as an evidence that no mistakes could now be made. He has learnt to take risks – he now takes bigger and stupid risks. He has not learnt (what most successful mountaineers tell) that the ‘basic’ lesson always is to be safe first and then to build up more skills from there. And therefore, he crashes down.
It is not that only the toppers crash. At some point of time in life, everyone crashes. However, there is a difference. A topper has not learnt that crashing or failing is a normal part of life, of growing up. ‘Shit happens!’ as they say. For him, however, the hurt of falling down is not merely the hurt of falling down, but the imagined/ real hurt of ridicule by the people who have kept him on the pedestal. ‘How could he fail ?’ A topper, becomes a fragile brittle, and therefore breaks on falling.
They say, ‘if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together’. A topper has learnt to go fast always, and therefore he is unlikely to go far. Often, people who do well early lose steam later on! The losses of a topper are not restricted to a possible truncated professional journey. He also is likely to end up lonely, having made no friends on the way. Everyone around him was a competitor, he never had time for a heart-to-heart talk with anyone, to develop trust, to make friends. He may either be too caring (a ‘learnt’ trait), or non-caring – but may never be able to feel oneness. The only relationship he grows up understanding is that of ‘authority’ – there is someone superior to him who is judging him, and in whose hands his marks and career lie. Therefore, he tends to become a conformist, believe in the system of hierarchy, and learns to either be fearful of those higher up than him, or scare those below him. Within his peers, being a topper, he tends to assume a hierarchical position, and reinforces hierarchy in a system.
In sum, a topper may miss out on the basic tenements that bring vigour and soul to life – i.e. truth, sincerity and integrity. His world limited to the syllabus books during his growing up years – and target being to obtain good marks, these gems fall between the cracks. The world of competition, in which a topper resides, is likely filled with the negative emotions of envy, jealousy and hatred. There is a risk that he grows up seeing and adopting some of these, like a Frankenstein’s monster.
The picture painted above may seem scary, but may not be untrue. One only needs to look around to reflect on the truth or otherwise of the statements above. Some may argue that having a topper mentality may polish some skills – for example, a sharper focus on results. A person who has always chased marks will well chase targets! But then, given everything else that might happen to him in the process, is it worth it, or even desirable? Do we want people who chase targets well, or people who understand which targets to chase, and which to leave?
Why does this topper mentality develop ? Is the topper to be blamed for this ? Perhaps, not. He does not enter this world, with an ambition to win it over. The environment at home, neighbourhood, school, institutions – the world that he encounters puts him in a dilemma – whether to strive to become a ‘topper’ or not ? ‘Stand out of the crowd’ is thedeafening cry everywhere. He realises, that while everyone hates ‘toppers’, they themselves want to be one! His questions on why he has to join the rat race remain unanswered. This starts from school – when a parent has no answer to a child’s question – ‘Papa, if I know how to write ‘It’s a pleasant morning today’, why do I have to write it twenty times?’.
If not the topper himself, who is responsible for this situation ? The first thing responsible is the tendency of measuring everything – how much ! From honesty to sincerity to industry to skill – we love to measure everything. They say in management – ‘Whatever gets measured, gets done’. They do not tell you – ‘Whatever doesn’t get measured, gets done well !’. Measurement keeps thosewho are measuring in jobs. And hence it is essential. But measurement does not stop at itself. It is relative. You are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. You are ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than someone. Measurements invariably lead to comparisons. And comparisonsclandestinely enter the psyche. Someone may be dancing and be happy in that. Unless someday you tell him that he does not dance ‘as well’ or that he dances ‘much well’. He then begins to either feel sad about his dance, or vain. Either way, his joy and excellence begin to take a back seat. From ‘better’, he wants to become ‘best’. And competition starts. He is now dancing to win, not dancing to dance.
Are we looking at our children as products to be showcased? This conditioning of constant comparisons affect children most during their growing up years. A parent who compares a child with his sibling or with a neighbour is unconsciously pushing him down a dangerous track. Many of the discussions of parents revolve around such anxieties, neighbourhood comparisons etc. Similarly, a teacher who does not see a student as he is, but sees him in comparison to others, is doing the same.
The problem of ‘topper mentality’, therefore is a by-product of an environment of measurement, comparison and competition – all of which promote a skewed ‘illusion of success’ – one that is mired in fear, greed and power. Skewed, because one can’t excel without failing; in a competitive world, the permission to fail is withdrawn all too soon and so people grow up only as ‘mediocre’ – oriented to doing safe things.
If we are wanting a peaceful, happy, sane world we do not need ‘toppers’. Or highly competitive, over-skilled individuals. We need an environment where there are no comparisons. Humans learn best in fear-free, happy, non-judgmental, intrinsically motivating environments. In such an environment at home, and at school, a holistic and intelligent individual will flourish. That will be the transformative change.
The anxiety of being valued only if one does well in exams is something that parents and society need to question. Our children often grow up in an emotional and psychological vacuum – unvalued, uncelebrated – and this may drive them to seek meaning and validation only through performance in exams. Coming back to the appeal made by my son – seeking a word of appreciation and acknowledgement, I feel I need to learn better how to value his being, beyond his accomplishments and tasks.
Nipun Vinayak ([email protected]) is an IAS officer and works with the Higher Education Department, Government of Maharashtra. Views expressed are personal.